Going Home.......Finally

Well, almost 4 months now. I'm back in Baghdad waiting for my flight. I'll spend a few days here to come back down from the excitement of the past 40 days. It feels good but now that I'm not 'running' at camp, I'm bored. I just want to be home now. I started this blog to try to describe what a person experiences while in Iraq. After 4 months, this is the situation report. My wife and I get along better than we ever have. I feel more strongly for her than I ever have. When we first started dating, I thought I was in love. That was nothing, THIS is what love feels like and it took being over here to really see it.

My daughters life didn't seem to change all that much with me being gone except the fact that I am not there to critic her every move trying to make her a 'better person'. I don't have to critic anything she does. She has been the young lady that everyone else knew she was but I refused to see. I have changed, she is still the same good girl as when I left. My son,........oh boy. He just doesn't understand. He's a little fella and he misses his Daddy. My wife told him over a week ago that I was coming home soon and she tells me that everyday, he looks out the window and asks when I'll get there....in my red truck? I sold it before I left but he thinks I drove it to Iraq. He's 3. I don't think any one thing tears at me as when I think of him. His face, somehow, hurts to think about. I'll tell you that I'm a very emotional person but I haven't had THE breakdown over here. I thought I would when I first got here but I didn't and I haven't. I don't know why.

The rest of my family, I think, thinks it's interesting that I'm over here but I never here from them so I'm really unsure of how they really feel. I talk to my Mother. She was pretty upset when I left but I think the fact that I'm here is settling in now. I imagine she bores people to death with Iraq stories. I've never served in the armed services like my family thought I should. I grew up with the military and it was never really my bag but being over here has brought me a lot closer to realizing that I probably could have done very well for myself in the service. I mesh well with every branch. I can't wait to get home and eat real food see my wife and my kids. It's indescribable what I'd do at this point to assure that I saw them again. I'm not feeling particularly poetic because I'm leaving. I'll end with this. Is it worth the money? Yes. Does it help your 10 year relationship? Yes. Have I asked myself several times what the Hell I'm doing here? YES. In the end though, whether you are working down the street or across the globe, it's about perception. Before I left, my wife and I were becoming roomates and I just wanted the kids to be quiet. I appreciate life 100 times more and I believe my family feels the same. We'll be stronger and wiser for this in the end.

A Large Chunk of Irony or It's a Small Small World

I work for a company that provides services like food, water, fuel, laundry and other things to the New Iraqi Army. With each group of Army or Police, there is a small group of American Soldiers with them to help teach and coordinate their actions. In my new camp, there is an officer with the Americans that has been my 'point of contact'. We're the same age and share a lot of the same ideals. Wait, let me back up.

In 1985, I travelled to Germany to see part of my family that was stationed there. I was 15. Being the age that I was and having a male relative of the same age and with the drinking age at around 4 in Germany, we wreaked havoc on the German Countryside. It was a wonderful time and I made many German and American friends. We hung out mostly with a group of American kids that went to K-town High School. Kaiserslautern High. We went to the discos and hung out and terrorized elderly people and small children like most 15 year old kids do. I spent almost two months their in 1985 and went back in 1987 for another two months.

Fast forward to Iraq 2005. 20 years later. I'm sitting with this officer that is attached to the Iraqi Army and were talking about this and that and he mentions that he spent time in Germany. "What part of Germany?" I asked. "K-town" he replied. "How old are you?" was my next question. "35" he answered. "huh, I wonder.....do you know _____?" I asked about my male relative that I stayed with and ran with while in Germany. "Yeah, we graduated together and hung out at......." "You're kidding!!?" I smiled wildly! I couldn't believe it. Me and this guy hung out together and talked twenty years ago in another foriegn country and here we sat together again!!!! Once we got the names out of the way, away we went with all the places we used to hang out in and discos and girls and friends. Amazing. People say it's a small world. If you've never left your small community, I'm here to tell you. IT REALLY IS.