I Dream Of Invincibility

I don't know why but in the past few days since I've been back in Baghdad, I've been considering the possibilities of invincibility. What I mean to say is, if you look at the overall contractor deaths in the country, and I in no way take away the tragedy of any one of my brothers and sisters deaths here, but the contractors deaths are a very small number even in the two years or so that this has been going on. I keep having a recurring........fantasy about just walking out the gate and up the street to get a morning newspaper and a coffee or something. I am by no means insane as the fantasy suggests though. Only curious. I would like to be invincible for a few hours and just walk around Baghdad or drive with the windows down just waving to the people beside me in traffic. How long would I last? 1 minute? 2 hours? I don't know.

You have to understand that the Americans who live here, live in a bottle of sorts. Sure we see the country and meet the people but we see the country peering out of our tinted windows with weapons at the ready and a stone in our gut just waiting to get it. Even people who have been here for any length of time will tell you, it doesn't get any easier. I wish I didn't have to wait to die while I'm riding through such a beautiful country. I would like to stop and get out if I see something interesting. Daily living is the same way. We are surrounded by Iraqis that are on board with us. We work with these bright, intelligent, and hard working people on a daily basis. The thing that is the most painfull however is the fact that any Iraqi outside of our circles IS, not might be, IS a terrorist. I don't mean that all the Iraqi people are terrorists, I mean, from our standpoint, you have to watch every single thing you do when out with the population.

I'm sure that journalists and others would argue with me that they walk the streets in relative safety in certain parts of the country, but the simple truth is that NOBODY knows... It could come in the car riding next to you. It could come in the way of an IED. It could come from any direction at any time and that is a fact. I truly wish we could solve this problem of terrorism. I think we have to start thinking in terms that are entirely out of the box. We really need to take the politically correct gloves off and finish this thing. But How? That's the million dollar question isn't it? What do they want? For the United States to leave? Why? For what reason? So that a new regime of terror can begin again? So that lives on both sides of the war would be just wasted for nothing? The think that is, I think, the most unfair is that all of the people that I have met here whether it be for my company or another are here to HELP!! They want to go out on the streets and do the job they came to do. Rebuild a country. Instead we all sneak from one secure site to another praying we are not attacked by "insurgents". Once these people learn that their belief in winning is futile. That we will NEVER leave, perhaps they will come to their senses and get on board to make some money or make some kids or make just anything but bloodshed in the name of self interest. When? If I were invincible, I'd let you know.