Feelings......

When I saw my wife for the first time, I loved her. Her hair was colored but natural looking. She was small but not weak looking. She carried herself well and that sort of frightened me to a certain extent. High maintenance.....you know.. I stalked her for some time at the video store where she worked. Oh, I could have shopped for videos all day. I didn't want to seem like a weirdo though. I just couldn't get enough of that face. I would listen intently at everything she would say even if it was just "Hey Frank, do we have the widescreen version of Dumbo in?" Ahhhhh sweet music to me!!!!

On one of my recon missions to the video store on night, I was in the foreign film section looking at a Spanish movie about a blind man......I don't know...but, it gave me a good vantage point. I heard my wife talking about _____ her daughter. Daughter?!! Wow, I didn't know. At that point though, I knew I had matured somehow. When I drove home that night, I thought to myself, I'd raise ten of her kids and ten of our own. I wouldn't care as long as each morning when I got up, I'd see her face. I just didn't care what it involved.

I finally rousted my courage and asked a woman at the register what the deal was with her. She said " Oh my, she'd love to meet someone! I'll put your name in her computer and tell her that the next time you come in, she can meet you!!!" Rather a stange approach.....but,,,I didn't care. So, there I was, GO TIME. I knew the next time I went in, the woman would see me and have my future wife wait on me so she could meet me. I spent around 2 hours choosing the right clothing. My roommate was like......."Dude, untucked is fine just go.....your fine.....okay....yes those jeans are good Jesus just go!"

My wife had gotten the message that a strange man wanted to meet her. She had actually been stalked before while working at the video store so she was pretty apprehensive about the whole thing. I drove down to the store and my mouth was so dry it just made a clicking sound when I practiced what I would say when I finally met her. I went in the store and God knows what video I choose but it took upwards of an hour. I watched her watching and working and I wondered just how she would size me up when I finally met her. I got the courage and just went up. The woman I had spoken to saw me coming and mysteriously got the ebola virus and had to rush from her register leaving the woman I would spend the rest of my life with alone there.

I approached and handed her the movie and my card and this is weird but I still remember our hands touching when I gave her the card. She scanned the card......looked up at me....looked down again.....and then again, up at me.....perplexed like....I was like 'Oh God she hates me and I haven't even said a word yet!'. Then, in a excited voice blurted rather loudly, " You're _____?"
I said yes and that was it!!! She expected the Elephant Man but it was just me. She smiled and I smiled and we started talking like we were raised together!! I can't even remember the drive home. I think I was thinking of how I could impress her daughter of 1 year. She's my baby now. She's daddy's girl......just like the movies..

That was ten years ago and I'm in Iraq now. I expected so much pain when I left and some came in the airport but, once I got here.....nothing.. It wasn't from not caring though. It was an emotion that I had never experienced before. On the second night in the desert, I realized what it was. I had never left. The distance wasn't Kryptonite.....crushing me.....it was an affirmation that the girl I had met so long ago was ALWAYS GOING TO BE THERE!! I haven't felt a distance between us because we're still together. All I have to do is close my eyes...........